Ramon Trif

2012-02-09T23:17:00.003-05:00

2012-02-03T15:34:00.001-05:00

5

2012-01-04T17:34:00.002-05:00

Words and slurs, bouts and no's
Why I'm right, for the one who knows
Anger rises, the tension never slows
Through this dark I know you love me so
Five-tailed fox, through your patience my spirit grows

Half

2012-01-04T17:26:00.002-05:00

~ a h a i k u ~

Many do not know
Even I confused what's so
I am two of one

Emoby

2012-01-04T16:55:00.002-05:00

Cut me open, I will bleed it
Take my air even, I don't need shit
Dissect my mind, it'll be there
My set of hands, not the flesh filled pair
But the ones that carry my soul, the spirit of this world
It beats as one with the rhythm, a continental swirl
Palette of happiness, rainbow of pain
Paint my impression, leave my canvas stained

Ocean of Hurt

2012-01-04T12:46:00.002-05:00

Waves crash time and again along the shores
My heart still mimics the waves of these seas
Though they're not your typical Atlantic or Pacific
You sank to the bottom that night
Like a bottle filled with treasure
You left me with something priceless before parting
These hands, able to rebuild any washed up ship
I often wonder almost every day
Through my thoughts, my tears, just if you're ok
I hope you're proud of me, I still use these hands
Use them to rebuild not only a ship, but an ark
One that will carry a light big enough to reach you
My father, I am your lost son
Will my cries fill up the ocean soon?
I need it to travel towards you
To say my thanks, my goodbye, my see you soons
My Captain, I am ready
To take the helm and lead the way
Once Guardian, now Envoy
God speed
Father
I love you

Summon

2012-01-04T12:24:00.002-05:00

Thought you were no good, perhaps I was right
Your disdain eclipsed my abundance of light
Then why do I struggle still with the pain?
Is it because without you I cannot sustain?

I banished you, back to the abyss
Saw it as just in performing this
The one who gave his sight and speech
Gifts thrown away from what I beseech

Come now, you are free from my prison
I fear you no more, I have no reason
You were once my greatest nightmare
My mirror, the one for I should've cared.

My Dream Note 2012

2011-12-29T15:27:00.006-05:00

2011 certainly was my year! From successfully helming my first showcased art show to falling in love with who I know is my soul mate, it's been beyond blessed. During this year, I became the youngest Manager in the history of the company I work for, Dramatics NYC and won the 'Manager of the Year' award! I've grown from that position and have a refined appreciation for responsibility and leadership. I've moved away from home and started a family of my own alongside my partner, Yumii. I was given the opportunity to love and be loved again and have decided never to believe otherwise. Not much of a square as I used to be, I've learned to loosen up a bit. My biggest fault that I need to further work on is my temper and my insecurity. Though it's diminished for the better, I still have a ways to go. My resolution for 2012 is focusing on the solution, not the problem. Also, understanding that a prayer is answered with the opportunity to fulfill its reality, not its automatic completion. Life is a journey, one to experience in your becoming. Here's to 2012!

- Helm the greatest art show ever put out alongside my team.
- Better myself as a good partner to my love.
- Continue to grow alongside my partner.
- Spend more time with my step son.
- Reconnect with friends and family I haven't seen in a while.
- Take the relationship my partner and I have to the next level.
- Expand the family my partner and I have.
- Save $5000
- Continue to follow my personal legend and strengthen it as my source for a living.
- Become an artistic vigilante.
- Get a tattoo.
- Experience being a freelance artist.
- Take an art class, maybe back at F.I.T.
- Continue to expand on the Once series.
- Give gratitude towards all forces that have helped and loved me, even towards those that haven't and reconcile.
- Confront and balance the deepest side of myself that needs reflection and understanding.
- Face and fulfill my destiny.

1: Ain't No Grave, by Johnny Cash

2011-12-29T14:30:00.004-05:00

#1: Ain't No Grave, by Johnny Cash

What makes a number one song for me? The amount of times I listen to it, the impact it has on me and a special quality it has that no other song contains. 'Ain't No Grave' has reminded me time and again this past year the strength I have to go on in life, past all adversities. I've had it play innumerable times on my ipod, each time sounding as fresh as the last. As for its unique quality, only Johnny Cash puts it best with this legendary song, "Gabriel don't you sound your trumpet until you hear from me.." It's served as my parting song and inspiration for 2012 when I myself must rise beyond fear and embrace life more than ever. The grave didn't hold Johnny down, nor did his song, here at the top. Number One.

See you in 2012, peeps!

'Till then, continue to enjoy music, let it serve you in a positive way and by all means, feel free to share your personal favorites with others.

Peace and love, all.

2: Scene Six: Home, by Dream Theater

2011-12-29T14:11:00.002-05:00

#2: Scene Six: Home, by Dream Theater

My friend told me to check these guys out. He's always spot on, especially with this song. It's a long one, over 12 minutes, but it doesn't drag in the least bit. The way the song flows is like a trip on its own. And what a trip it is! The best part of this whole album is that it's a story being told through all the songs. Brilliant. Difficult to do, so it earns admiration points. I also love the Arabic instrumental in the beginning while the tempo starts to rise. Sweet song. Heh.. and there's a woman moaning in it. Naughty.

3: Progenies of the Great Apocalypse, by Dimmu Borgir

2011-12-29T12:45:00.005-05:00

It's that time again! Here to share my personal top 3 songs for 2011.
Last year I had a lot of fun doing it and felt it's a good way to get some unheard music out to the audience to sample.

So, let's get right to it:

#3: Progenies of the Great Apocalypse, by Dimmu Borgir

A balanced band coupled with metal, great instrumentals and some epic vocals. The video is amazing in terms of its stylized influence on just about everything. From the 'end times' background, to the demonic-like costumes all the way to the hell infused instruments, the details are a guilty pleasure. This is the type of song that makes you want to go out and do something big, out of the ordinary. And hey, while you're at it, why not bring your eyeliner and chains with you?

Thanksgiving V.2.011

2011-11-25T14:06:00.003-05:00

1st Thanksgiving in 2 yrs I've been happy
Food upon food, devoured and left over
Baked my first pumpkin pie, successfully delicious
Marble cake however, pretty atrocious
Laser bottle openers, cadavers on camera
Little Phoenix watching Yo Gabba Gabba
Mama came over, missed her much
Family from both ends, religious politics
Youtubing alien encounters, tuxedo pajamas
Pumpkins are packed, jingle bells a ringin'
Gonna get you that red coat while we wine and dine
Saving for that ring 'cuz I'm yours and your mine
Ups and downs, smile and frowns
All drowned by kisses and coquito
The holidays are holy indeed just because
This thing called life is love, it will overcome
We'll grow like that pie we popped in the oven
And damn girl it'll be sweet, baked for true lovin'

Please See Us Through

2011-07-30T12:09:00.008-04:00

To open my eyes to yours,
Feeling your flesh next to mine,
Every sunrise a smile, every sunset a release

Days and nights passed, but we remained constant
Through Hell we emerged, made way to the dream
Surfaced to a new world, one of uncertainty

Beaten and torn we looked up to the sky
Bloodied eyes, streaming sorrow and joy
We fought long and hard just to be united

Each fighting off the monsters along the way
To find each other, embrace and say,
"I am yours, you are mine. Let us be Love at last"

Love is more than what meets the eye
Yet it is simpler than the mind makes out
We involve too much but sometimes give too little

It is one thing to defeat outside monsters
The true challenge is confronting inner demons
Their names are Me, Right, and Know

They are coupled with their offspring,
Insult, Insecurity and Judgment
Far more advanced than we may be aware

Through their tactics does hurt spread
Name calling, putting one down, speaking untruths,
Affecting your other with negativity, drawing in to a void

A destructive cycle stemmed from a lack of understanding
We look to the past and compare our Present
This is where we lose our Gift, our only Now

For what is now ash is to be released, not clung to
Try to hold sand in your fist, see what happens
Decay is to be forgotten, we are here to forge ahead

To feel unequal, insulted, mistreated
Would such action ever fall under our Sun?
Why dear have we forgotten our loving ways?

Why do we forget the dream of dreams?
What reason is equal in worth to blaspheme our beloved?
It is our inner disease, evolved throughout habits of time

Could True Love prevail and fade our illusion?
Shall we give in and allow fear to win? To become us?
Or shall we choose to remember what we were, not what we've become?

The true stem of What We Are,
It is said that in order to become you must realize to simply be
Fear is not real, it is just a part of The Only Truth There Is . . .

<*3

For without Fear, Love could not know itself.

Please God/ Love/ Life (the many names you have), be here with us now in our time of darkness and struggle. Shine upon us wisdom, forgiveness and understanding.

I ask for the strength and patience to be there for those I love, and for myself in life. I ask for peace, the knowledge of safety and better communication for my love.

Trend Gallery-- July 21, 2011

2011-07-12T22:52:00.009-04:00

Shot and edited by Magid Metwaly. Check out his work at
http://www.youtube.com/user/ThingaMagid

2011-05-30T00:58:00.001-04:00

Searched and searched, for the soul
The flame which would reflect my whole
You are here now with me, confronted
All that they call odds against us, unwanted
Yet how shall we precede?
Will we allow our hearts to recede?
Are you brave enough to go deep down
Even if it means your fears to drown?
Fear not death, my love.. for it is not deletion
Combust with me to ashes, and see true completion

2011-05-30T00:53:00.005-04:00

Misunderstood, your misclaim
To think you are the reason for my disdain
My lack of pursuit of my own passion
Is my fault alone, please settle your reaction
My heart has been pure and always will
My intentions true to you as it beats still
Yet do not confuse what I must do
To rebirth myself and to stay true
To the depths of the Nether I must revisit
A new level for this Sun will be ever exquisite

Ultima

2011-05-29T14:30:00.007-04:00

Crossroads beseech my visage
Intertwining a departed lineage
Twin lights harbored by them
Souls that have danced time and again
Drawn by our dreams and visions
Scared by our demons and their previsions
I pass the spirits that haunt my mind
The spiders, they leave their venom behind
Forces that blind our fury and sorrow
We are faced with the phoenix, no time left to borrow

Ch.9: Editing

2011-04-04T12:34:00.005-04:00

With all three HNM episodes shot, it was now time for the editing process.
I met with Irwin each week and worked with him on finalizing what I wanted out of the film.
He was very patient and considerate. Very detail oriented and listened to every little thing I felt needed to be tweaked. He put his professional input and overall was so awesome about it all. I know I can be a bit anal when it comes to certain things (the blessing and curse of the artist), but he understood. Thank you for that, Irwin. You are a true professional. That alone will take you far in life, good friend.

I did the voice over as the narrator of the film (lol). If you would've heard it without the audio alteration, you'd either laugh your ass off or shake your head in shame at my awful English accent.

We recorded the audio voice over and placed it in segments fitting the scene appropriately. We then added music. It really started to come to alive with the music. It was an intriguing thing to witness. The characters and story was coming to life. Irwin added filters and finally rendered it all. It took about a day to complete each video.

We uploaded them on the HNM Youtube channel and it was a wrap!

Ch.8: Production

2011-04-04T11:59:00.003-04:00

With three curators now established, much more work was getting done. This gave me leeway to focus more for the time being on the HNM film.

I had written the script and supply list of what was needed (props, wardrobe, etc). Alex had reviewed them over and over. He helped me so much in condensing what was needed. He showed me how to cut out what wasn't needed, how to organize things, how to write more efficiently.
I also learned from him not to drag a paragraph into a million lines lol.

Initially, the HNM story was to be shot into 7 separate parts. Irwin and Alex condensed that for me into 3. Big difference. More to the point. I learned not to let things drag. People might lose interest in the way you present the film. It's not like this was a mini-series online alone. This was to be re-aired at the gallery, leading to the finale scene. 7 parts is just way too long. They dodged me a bullet there.

I have to say, shooting the film was some of the fondest memories I'll ever have as a keepsake. It was so cool to know that my largest thought that I'd been meditating on for a year now was coming alive right before my eyes. I remember the beautiful weather, shooting in Central Park. The scenery, the ambiance, the way the wind felt as the autumn leaves chimed. Truly a moment etched in my eternal D.N.A.

We had our technical difficulties of course, but for the most part we got through it thanks to Alex and Irwin. Looking back, we did a lot. I can't describe how good it felt to be a part of their world of filming. Filming is an art above and beyond what one may realize. I know I couldn't fully appreciate until that day. You guys are great! You extracted a story, a belief, a dream from deep within me and manifested it into a creative product I'll always have now.

The last scene of the movie is the gem of the project. It is the reveal of Sun and his identity. I had made it that it was a mystery as to who Sun, Guardian of Heaven was. Though I may have made it quite obvious that it was me (lol), nevertheless I thought it an interesting twist. You see, the winner of the HNM contest would face Sun the night of the gallery. He being the elusive 11th artist. The last scene is shot that Sun is about to uncloak himself.. then the room goes dark in the gallery and I appear in costume. I uncloak live and reveal that I indeed am Sun as well.

The reveal is a whole chapter in its own.
In summary, I can't thank Alex and Irwin enough for bringing about this dream of mine. I am in eternal gratitude and will do the same for you both so long as I live.
Thank you guys.

Ch.7: Trifecta

2011-04-04T00:21:00.004-04:00

Casandra, Entry 06.
Our friend Nancy had told me about her. How she had wanted to help with the gallery. It had been her dream to curate an art gallery. I couldn't turn down helping someone accomplish their dream. She and I after much conflict in our schedules finally met up. I'd told her my idea. She loved it. She was amped and ready to go! I was more than happy and relieved to get support. A partner to help me sew this dream into a physical realization.

She and I made a list of what we needed, places to visit, deadlines to meet. I had let her in on the current methods of promotion Alex and I had already established. I was doing my best now to guide her and strengthen her as a leader. To give example while balancing stepping back and allowing her to grow on her own.

It wasn't long until Alex had wanted in as well. How could I turn down my best friend and eternal partner of the arts to not lead alongside me? He had done so much already in many departments of the show. He had earned the title of 'Curator' above and beyond already.

That title had now evolved. With Casandra and Alex as Co-Curators, I would lead as Head- Curator and form this unique and awesome entity into Heaven No More.

The term 'unstoppable' came into my heart as I witnessed the birth of this union. Something truly remarkable and rare. I'll never forget it.

Ch.6: Expanding

2011-04-03T23:56:00.005-04:00

Three established as the HNM team.
I as Curator. Irwin and Alex as head of filming.

I needed to recruit artists for the show now. I had wanted 10 artists total. Figured it's a nice, perfect number. Solid. Quite a task to collect, but nevertheless this whole show was no walk in the park. I and Alex had some people in mind. Friends of ours that we knew from art school. Alex also was involved in the rising community of artists. I regret to say that I at that time (perhaps even to this day) am not that adept at socializing and keeping touch with an array of artists. I don't know if it's an intimacy of quality over quantity I seek.. or if I just have an oblivious complex to me. Who knows.. and who cares. Onward with the chapter..

We had 2 entries (I and Alex). Our friends from F.I.T. Danny and Nancy were in as well! This was shaping up to be quite an awesome reunion for us, to finally co-display in a show of our own! A co-worker of mine had shown interest as well. I gladly welcomed her.

Nancy had suggested a friend of hers to be involved as well.
Casandra.. Entry o6. She who would become Co-Curator as well as rise to her destiny as

HNM's Champion.

Ch.5: The Team

2011-04-03T23:33:00.003-04:00

Behind every leader, there are his people. Those close to him/her that support and help alongside as one. I knew in my heart a dream of this multitude I could not do alone. I never expected it to blossom to such magnitude, but I'm so very grateful for it. You all may never know just how much it all meant to me.

I'd envisioned the story of Heaven No More to be promoted through a short film. This was to be shown online as a sort of preview, leading up to the conclusion at the actual show. The film dealt with the story of Sun and Void, the representatives of Heaven and Hell. Its star though was Journey, Herald of Heaven.. apprentice to Sun (played by Irwin Rojas). Journey is recalling his past lives with Sun in the present day. He has nightmares and visions regarding all that came to pass that lead to Sun's disappearance. Journey discovers his ancient identity and finds meaning along the way through his search for Sun.

Last year Irwin, Alex and I filmed a short conceptual film for the Heaven At Last gallery. It was very short, not much focus placed on it. We did it really quick, rushed and sorta in the air. Looking back we laugh at it. We clearly didn't take it that seriously enough knowingly. Comparing it to the Heaven No More video now it is a vast improvement. It actually has a story line, character recognition, sequencing and clear effort.

In a way you can say.. muuuch has passed.. (inside joke).

In the past year, Alex had evolved his abilities in filming, editing and producing film. I was so impressed and in awe of how much he had come through with his passion. He, alongside with Irwin were in charge of the filming portion for the HNM video.

I as Curator, alongside with Alex and Irwin would bring my story to the next level and the dream of the show one step closer to its birth.

Ch.4: Building Blocks

2011-04-03T22:40:00.003-04:00

Heaven and Hell to be interpreted through an art gallery. The rise and fall one experiences in life. To summarize.. pain. Pain would be the centralized theme of the show. What was the meaning of pain portrayed by each artist?

How would I tie this all together? Where would each gear go to make this creation one that functions in reality? Like anything built, you must start from the foundation:
1. Structure
2. Concept
3. Theme
4. Material

1. Structure: I devised the show to be an interactive art gallery. Having been in a number of galleries in my young career, I had always felt they lacked something. I had envisioned each guest to be able to partake in the artist's product. To feel a deeper, more intimate connection. Imagine being able to somehow be a reason to making that art come alive. That was a key ingredient I needed to raise the standard of the gallery. Then I decided to make it into a contest. Make it interesting, seeing each artist pit its very best and display alongside one another in a friendly competition. Providing an element of excitement to the audience and to the participants. Striving towards something. An honor, an achievement, a recognition.

2. Concept: Focus is essential and a huge guide in attracting guests as well as keeping them. If they can clearly recognize what it is you are expressing and it is of deep interest to them, then you have succeeded tremendously. For Heaven No More, it was pain. Everyone has surely experienced pain at one point in their lives. A memorable pain. One of quality, as I call it. This show was about exploring the subtle beauty behind that pain and how it is often overlooked.

3. Theme: Heaven and Hell, the two ancient counterparts since the dawn of time. The yin and yang, good and evil, light and dark of reality. I chose this as the sleeve to encompass the gallery's style. The whole feel of a 'legend' that has survived throughout histories and lifetimes. Truly epic in my opinion. That, was my vision: epic. Each of the artists (10 in total) were fit into the main story of Heaven No More, while allowing their individuality to shine through as an entity.

4. Material: This meant having funds, a place to hold the show, tools to promote/ campaign, as well as art supplies of course! Without any physical substance, your dream remains a lovely concept to be thought of only and dreamt about. Like having the ingredients to make a cake, you must have your resources ready and able. This included my fine team which helped me tremendously! Thanks again, you guys! Next chapters are about you guys!

There you have it. Like the four corners of the Earth, these four tools will serve as your compass to guiding your dream home. Home to a reality filled with your own personal legend. The possibilities with this recipe truly are endless.

Anthem

2011-04-03T22:28:00.003-04:00

Cannot contain
What is beyond pain
Other worldly
They do not see
Unspoken chant
Silenced rant
No use
For this abuse
Value is denounced
My arrival announced
Behold, oh Sun
More than one
I am you.. undone.

Ch.3: What of Hell?

2011-03-08T19:14:00.005-05:00

Heaven was established as my eternal wish of seeking and upholding love.
Now, what of Hell, its counterpart?

Last Summer, when I first delved into the parable of the gallery's concept, it involved Alex and I.
The original back story dealt with these master creators who had ascended to a level beyond that of a human. The first being the architect of Heaven (my character). I had the story set that the next championed creator had reached his pinnacle and wished to challenge the prior master. This character was modeled after Alex. He originally was called The Guardian of Earth. Alex then came to me and said, "Ramon.. Guardian of Earth is bland. I should be the Guardian of Hell." And thus Sun, The Guardian of Heaven and Void, The Envoy of Hell were born.
Though, back then I had not named them yet until The Heaven No More show.

Hell, the opposing complement to Heaven.
To almost all, Hell is what is considered "bad" or "evil".
It is a place where your soul is damned forever for making a mistake in your life.
Within religious beliefs there are certain mistakes that if committed put you in the category of being condemned to Hell.

Well, that simply is not so. If you truly open your eyes and heart, you'd see that Hell is right here on Earth, or wherever you reside with it. Yes, Hell is self-created and inflicted. It is our fears and malfunctions unleashed without control or understanding upon ourselves and all around us.

Hell, the way I saw it was held and championed honorably by my friend, Alex Mercado.
In my eyes and belief he exemplifies an exploration for those deep parts within ourselves that we deny. The fear, the hurt, the grievance, all that we as humans possess. Through his art I saw magnificent beauty and a dark brilliance which I admired since the day I met him.
Alex has never given in to the judgments of others when creating. He never gave in to his own fears of exterior opinions and criticisms. He just goes on and on creating with honor and self-respect. Dignity, pride and utter love for his craft. In this, coupled with how he is as a wonderful person did I know my eternal friend and rival. Alex.. Void.. The Envoy of Hell.

Hell.. the evolution of one's craft as a being and creator. The embracing of imperfection through beauty and exploration of the soul's depth. Being true to who you are and who you want to be. Embracing pain.. embracing art.. in its entirety.

Through this Alex, you've always been my role model. You've helped me to explore and express my personal Hell and elevate its understanding.

Sun and Void.. two ancient deities who had clashed long ago would join forces to bring forth their next creation upon this modern world.. a timeless legend engraved across the skies.

Ch. 2: What is "Heaven No More"?

2011-03-08T18:39:00.005-05:00

The idea was put out into the universe, setting the gears of creation into motion.
What was it that I had wanted to build though? An art gallery? A themed show? What did Heaven No More mean exactly?

Heaven No More itself means just that.. Heaven is no more.
What is Heaven? Why is it no more?

Heaven to many people means a lot of things. Mainly it is seen as a place in the sky filled with clouds, light and angels. This is the place your soul goes after you've physically passed. In this Heaven all is "perfect", filled with joy and never-ending happiness without reason. All who you've known go there and meet in the after-life to reconcile. Oh, but you have to be "good" in life, otherwise you'd be sent to Hell, its counterpart. Hell is a place of damnation and eternal suffering. A punishment for sinning.

Yeah.. (yawn).. I'd hope by now everyone would have evolved past those ancient fear-based ideals and misinterpretations. Unfortunately, that gravely isn't the case.

That's another reason why I chose to relate this gallery to one of the biggest, if not the biggest concept of truth: Heaven and Hell. I was determined to envision all my pains and trials as a human being thus far in my life and filter them through the polar ends of these two belief systems.

Now, I guess I should point out what my belief is about Heaven and Hell and how it relates to the show.

To me, Heaven is that one undeniable factor in us all that we strive for, live for and die for. It is our will, our very being, our essence. For me, personally, Heaven is a wish. The highest desire declared of what you are in the grandest sense.

My wish was.. that I would always be with those I loved and loved me so unconditionally.. forever.

This was a perfect world and life to me, its design flawless.. just to be with love.. always in all ways.

Heaven was not needed to be found through some exterior false promise, but inside one's self.
This is where truth and God resided.. inside all of us. The eternal wish.. to be fulfilled throughout the ages.. my Heaven at Last.. which became a Heaven No More.

So, to summarize, what is Heaven No More you ask?
The journey of the trials deep within this artist's being into finding himself.. as well as the reason to why he lost himself and the love in him.

I'd do so through the best way I knew how..
a r t.

Are you?

2011-03-07T21:48:00.004-05:00

I've been here before, time and again
The moment of demise, the loss of zen
Why God is there such a turmoil alive?
The fear of it not existing, that for which I strive

The one thing that breathes
That makes me utterly grieve
For it not being real would mean
It all goes to nothing, falls to the unseen

In fact the truth is, 'tis far worst than that
For if this is not real, it is a direly grave stat
It would mean all that simply is so
Would fall to a fate far worst than a no

The lack of this ultimate truth would birth
The awakening of a reality, one that has no worth
It is something emptier than an endless nothing
An elegy that no soul can attempt to sing

For in the proof that love is simply nought
It triggers the cataclysm of oblivion sought

Ch. 1: The Dream

2011-03-01T20:15:00.003-05:00

I was about 4 years old, drawing the red ranger on the kitchen floor.
I looked up to my mom and said to her in Romanian, "I'm going to be an artist."

20 years later, I not only stood true to my word but brought to life a long-term dream of mine called,
Heaven No More.

I remember the phone call to my friend, Irwin like it was yesterday.
"Irwin, I have this idea. I'm going to do it. I have to. It's the sequel to last year's gallery about rising to the top. This one's about the fall and about dealing with pain. Heaven At Last.. now Heaven No More."

He was down to help. My friend Alex as well. This was it. The next few months which stemmed into a year was the building of the new gallery show!

What lay ahead was a journey full of challenges, hard work, dedication and reward.

As well as so much more...

Constant

2011-03-01T08:43:00.003-05:00

Certain days are bliss,
Certain days are bland,
While others are agonizing.
The heart beats different beats for different reasons.
What stays constant in rhythm is the denominating factor.
That rooted truth of who you are, who we all are..
L o v e.

Blaze on with the spirit of a thousand suns, Phoenix.

Release

2011-02-28T13:34:00.001-05:00

Reopened are these gates.. these gates to my heart
Released are these emotions.. my feelings spread apart
Rise again, Phoenix.. spirit of the Sun
Now and forever, beyond infinity we are again one.

My Dream Note 2011

2011-02-23T20:00:00.007-05:00

I'm very happy to say that I fulfilled mostly everything on last year's Dream Note! I found it very helpful to plan out my many wishes and envision them clearly. Since it worked so well, here's to 2011! ...

- refine, reopen Sanctuary check
- practice Kung-Fu
- purchase HD video camcorder, HD camera
- purchase gaming computer
- purchase Mac laptop
- look into Twitter, Tumblr accounts
- take art classes
- learn how to dance
- help others who helped me with my dreams achieve theirs check
- plan new galleries check
- form art group check
- make art business card check
- earn money off of art check
- balance time and energy more efficiently
- refine style.. clothes, hair, etc check
- design and get a tattoo
- write next chapters of HNM check
- work on illustration book for HNM
- work on becoming published with writing and art check
- submit to art events/ publications
- catch up on recommended movies not yet seen check
- read even more books, new materials check
- create podcasts.. COV, poetry, art
- sell art on street
- save $10, 000
- strengthen and enjoy love, realize its immortality every moment check

Seed 49

2011-02-23T15:51:00.001-05:00

1. Who am I you ask again? Forgetful till the grave
I am all that I am, all that I gave
I gave it all, I broke it when false, I broke it when true
I am the heart we shared, I am the soul that is you.

2. Through the embers and flame
These two phoenix souls would reclaim
The one thing we all live and die for
A never-ending journey, keeping no score

3. The shards and sheets of the frozen heart
The storms of empty sorrow setting us apart
Cold and barren, a forgotten story
Blinding you away from me

4. Depths of unleveled compromise
Oceans within, crying for demise
The pressure of a thousand moons
Relentless you ventured, denying their tune

5. Worlds apart from the land of birth
Still rooted upon the soils of our Earth
Your will stayed firm and strong
Surpassing designs of right and wrong

6. You've come far and near
Equipped with love and fear
I look upon your face and see
Our love immortal, our legacy

7. What is my name again you ask?
Ages passed since the start of our task
Take my heart, for it is yours my Sun
I am Oni, the soul seeking you since day one

Seed 48

2011-02-23T15:50:00.003-05:00

1. Look to the mirror, the only one open
Look to the light through the dark, out and in
You seek your answer? Do you really?
Then look to it at last, see that it is me

2. Journeys and quests all alike
I am the only one that strikes
That spark inside of you
The fire that burns true

3. Names and titles attached
Different versions of the same catch
I know you for who you are, my dear
For the simple reason, I held you near

4. I know how you breathe deeply
I feel how you reach for me
I remember when you caressed my soul
I know because my heart you stole

5. You are the thief that I love
The angel that fell from above
I care not so much of your story
Just as long as you are with me

6. We have elaborated on our path
We overcame the lies and their wrath
Lost ourselves along the way
Waiting without certainty for that one day

7. I must ask, why have you waited?
You have endured things I myself hated
I was not a guarantee, perhaps imagined
Yet here you are, our love rekindled.

Seed 47

2011-02-23T15:50:00.001-05:00

1. You see me enveloped, covered by your own dismay
If you'd only believe, this cloak would be washed away
If you could fathom that what served you then, weighs you now
If you would see again, if you'd just allow

2. Perhaps through the new creation
You'd find your salvation
Maybe this would help your Earth
Returning it to its worth

3. So much on your plate
Layered by love and hate
A mission dived deep
An endless and tiring sleep

4. There is no rest here
Not when embracing your fear
Knowing you have the tool
Using it wisely, not being a fool

5. The canvas of your spirit
Running wild without script
Only here are you made whole
Through creation you realize your soul

6. If you must then do it
Forget thought, memory and spirit
Just go by what you know
Be free, simply let go

7. You know deep down
Even though you drown
What is true and divine
It is yours my love, not mine

Seed 46

2011-02-23T15:19:00.001-05:00

1. To what do you owe your eyes, stranger?
Have they guided you towards destiny or a grave danger?
How do you choose to see me now? Real or not?
Am I your enemy or am I all that you've got?

2. In dreams, tears and imagination
I still hold on to your creation
My breath, my beat, my will you are
I sense you still, even so far

3. It distorts me, this collision of worlds
Lifetimes apart, realities swirled
Not knowing what is real
Discerning what to feel

4. Stories overlapped
Existence trapped
Feeling chained to a result
Like belonging to a cult

5. At first it was so great
But the feeling of love turned to hate
Not of you, but of the circumstance
Everything falling by happenstance

6. It is the worst to feel powerless
Waiting for an illusory mistress
I decide time and again that it's all a lie
Yet I find myself back again to try

7. A kaleidoscope of effort
Continuously falling short
Why do I go on indeed?
Is this love or a poisonous need?

Seed 45

2011-02-23T15:18:00.001-05:00

1. Do you even remember? Do you know who I am?
Do you believe in this dream, or see it as scam?
Do you leave this to your imagination?
Do you see me as your very own creation?

2. Does it matter where I reside?
If I am exposed or if I hide?
Do you not feel me either way?
Or can your heart no longer relay?

3. Timeless should be our bond
Under exaggerated is to be wronged
For it soared above the rest
Have faith that it shall pass the test

4. Worry is for the doubtful
It fills the damned from toe to skull
Let go of this lie
On me should you rely

5. I am here for you
I promise it to be true
How I wish, my love
For this to reach you so high above

6. Alas, I sit and count the suns
Thinking upon what you've overcome
Will this strength be enough?
Will it slay the scales so rough?

7. Here I am preaching of undying faith
Yet I just like you, in pain I relate
I am not wholly at peace, not without you
I will find it myself and stare its eyes blue

Seed 44

2011-02-23T15:17:00.000-05:00

1. You.. who have come so far at last
You.. who have lived here and passed
You have sought me for so long and now
You confront me in finale, as you give your last bow

2. Why have you come, lone soul?
Is it to reclaim what they stole?
Allow me to show you a lost knowledge
This truth many deceive as privilege

3. You quest and thirst for what you cannot drink
You recollect what you can no longer think
Yearning for a future that has not passed
Condemning all the wishes that are cast

4. Former Guardian there is no need
To protect what is already freed
Embracing pain for valor and redemption
Is as insane as the highest assumption

5. Letting go is said to be key
The power that sets us all free
This too is nothing more than a construct
An overrated and mass-produced product

6. Countless designs imagined by all
All thought to prevent or embrace the fall
Eyes we have that cannot see
Mouths we own that cannot plea

7. Tell me, fellow soul, who are you?
Your identity or what beats true?
In this I can guarantee you one thing

In return I ask you give all that you bring

Seed 43

2011-02-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

1. Misty and silent.. awaiting my arrival
It was there.. it outlived my survival
You are my final door, my last chapter
Past and present, here thereafter

2. The one I must confront
Daring the ultimate stunt
Can I really do this?
Will it happen or will I miss?

3. Performing the miracle of
The one below and above
Yin and Yang, brothers of balance
Tying the divine and absence

4. I sense him, he is near
He is in all I love and all I fear
Nowhere can he not be
Yet he I cannot see

5. The mirrored riddle of time
Echoing eternity, its subtle chime
Show me your true form
Awaken from whence you dorm

6. Clouds part, the Heavens disperse
The ground rumbles, Hell reversed
He emerges from the unknown
At last to give what we have shown

7. I am the one with no name
Fellow soul, you and I are the same
You cannot find me, there is nowhere to look
I am here to restore all that you have took

Seed 42

2011-02-23T15:14:00.001-05:00

1. They speak to me through their shade and sound
They emit like arrows towards me unbound
Gouge me my children, you must shake me awake
Guide me my parents, do so at any stake

2. The people I have left
Upon them committing theft
Still, they have not lost faith
Upon the blood of my enemies they bathe

3. It is said that love is almighty
They'll stop at nothing to set me free
Thank you, my love.
I fall from above.

4. Into the abyss from whence I woke
Upon the shadows in which I cloak
I have deterred to a new nature
Its eyes follow me, that of the creature

5. You all peer inside to the matter
Viewing me as my parts scatter
The architect of your Heaven
Now learning from the dark seven

6. What to make of this sight
I tell you, there is no need for fright
I am well off, better than before
Here I am to surpass the lore

7. Angel of light, envoy of rebirth
Rooted from the soils of Earth
Once upon a time I was your savior
Now I champion this realm, alongside her

Seed 41

2011-02-23T15:13:00.000-05:00

1. Strength, honor, devotion, what of these?
Are they true valor or just an unnecessary tease?
Dissect me and all of the walls around me
Clear the fog, open my core for all to see

2. Purifying the past away
Releasing all that would stay
Forging onward to new days
Dissipating that still gaze

3. Clenched to the memories
That dance for you and please
They play upon an old role
Holding back the everlasting soul

4. You are not your time
Nor are you the old crime
These are faded and gone
Allow the night to become the dawn

5. Do not stay stuck on a note
Clinging to the story you wrote
Go beyond and see it true
See that this all derives from you

6. This is the immortal that lives
Meaning and emotion it gives
Forever throughout, you spread your joy
You are the eternal sun-born boy

7. If that mountain should crumble
If you should fall or stumble
Know that you are beyond
Remember our divine bond

Seed 39

2011-02-23T15:12:00.005-05:00

1. I pray to you, light of the dark, Gods of this realm
I do not know, I cannot remember.. I am overwhelmed
Relinquish me for all that I am, for it is of no value
Break it all, myself the whole I am not true

2. When hearts divide
They yearn again to collide
To collect all the shards
Doing so, no matter how hard

3. Your map is a memory
Revealing the way to see
Along this lonely road
Staying with you even in this mode

4. Even moons must awaken
Eyes gaze but are mistaken
What she'd give to see yours
Lighting her darkened corridors

5. This is why I forget
Why my love lets
So that she may know what I am
The door to her divine plan

6. Like grains of sand
Drifting from what's planned
This forgotten game
The players all the same

7. Irony is the outcome
Infinity derived from one
The very being which split apart
Is found inside our shared heart

Seed 40

2011-02-23T15:12:00.004-05:00

1. How do you recapture what you have lost?
How can you say I love you to what you tossed?
How do you solve the riddle with no answer?
How do you become one once more with her?

2. When you are divided
You return where you resided
For you see all your parts
And the world's hearts

3. You recall an ancient knowledge
Belonging to all within the lineage
This populous stretches far
To the farthest, brightest star

4. Even suns of the sky must go
Returning to the home they know
There all is remembered and restored
Once again is eternity bestowed

5. This is why you forget
Why this red sun sets
So that I may know what I am
To fulfill what I can

6. Perspective is gained
Sights no longer strained
New eyes are birthed
As the new soul emerged

7. Danced this dance before
Time and again, forever more
I'd do it all again
With you, no matter when

Seed 38

2011-02-23T15:09:00.000-05:00

1.They dance to me again and sing their song
They illuminate through nevermore where I belong
It is not where anyone or anything can say
Only what I lost can show me the way

2. They chide their tale
Weighing my conscience on the scale
Setting apart what is of use
Filtering what has been abuse

3. These banshees of the nether
Would not tell me whether
It was my destiny to confront something new
They would not share the slightest clue

4. They seemed to delight in my inquiry
This realm so pitched, I couldn't see
The only guides I had were they
They followed me to my dismay

5. I did not know it yet
They were to show me how to forget
Release the poison inside
Create myself again and confide

6. Suddenly we halted
The ethers of nether exalted
They formed together into something new
What I beheld was a sight to see

7. Coiled was its hide
Sharp and fierce was its snide
The dark orbs, emanated pale
The Dragon of Nether, all hail

Seed 37

2011-02-23T15:08:00.003-05:00

1. Who am I.. what i was? What I am?
Is my essence divine or is it damned?
Curse or gift? Perhaps is it both?
In this balance am I destined to loath?

2. In the middle road
Centered yet lost abroad
Equilibrium tainted
Faith nearly fainted

3. This is beyond suffering and pleasure
Its aftermath will behold a rare treasure
Sought by god and man alike
Upon the last hour will it strike

4. Chaos is it?
Upon which I sit?
Harmony may it be?
I reach for what I see

5. Peace and balance, the keys
The salvation to please
My distraught mind, it needs rest
My soul, it hungers for the test

6. Mindless I journey, on to the envoy
Where I shall unleash and deploy
All that I have gained through letting go
I care not for an answer, simply to know

7. Through the shroud I enter
Shattered and dismembered
The perfect state to confront the architect
For he shall rebuild me, through his intellect

Seed 36

2011-02-23T15:08:00.001-05:00

1. It hurts no more, it is just reactive
The beat automates, I must make it selective
I will forever be exposed for this is the way
There is nothing to hide, not in night nor in day

2. Cast away my shell
Expose me now to the beauty of Hell
I have seen the majesty of God's land
Invite me now to his lower strands

3. For even He, the mighty One
The immortal who created the legendary Sun
Has given birth to a brother bound
In Sorrow does he wake, in it does illusion drown

4. Now upon my wounded chest
I don the valor, the voided crest
The symbol of my fellow soul
Cannot be outshone, nor overthrown

5. The champion of nought
The one Light fought
An engraved encounter, stamped upon time
To forget it is a petty crime

6. For it shaped the ways of this world
Light and dark met, their energies swirled
Damned and Divine, both common ground
Amongst their bout, truth was found

7. Day and night share its hour
Alternating its contrasting power
Though apart, very much alike
Behold the hour upon which Sun and Void strike

Seed 35

2011-02-23T15:07:00.000-05:00

1. As I see what I am shown it unfogs
So much contained, it must be unclogged
Though beautiful and rare I must let it go
For it is no more, it is not mine to show

2. Holding on to the precious
For too long can prove treacherous
Like a bird that yearns to fly
Cannot do so with your grip so tight

3. My eyes a misguide
I believe in all that lied
I followed what lead me anywhere
I felt I was no longer here nor there

4. To be alone, to truly feel without
No one can see you or hear you shout
May your pain echo to the heavens above
It will be lost in the ethers of love

5. This thing called love, defier of the elements
Surpasses even the most attuned resonance
It knows no logic
Its language cryptic

6. This unseen feeling
Sets us on paths unyielding
To the far ends of the Earth
We travel to know our worth

7. The deepest realms of this galaxy
Will not even show you what to see
For the holy grail in which we look for
Is hidden inside us, a forgotten lore

Seed 34

2011-02-23T15:06:00.000-05:00

1. Memories frozen and prismatic
Reflected inward and chasmic
Like a snowflake, each unique and precious
Like a wound, cold and treacherous

2. Black iced heart, you cannot see
The wounds imposed by you and me
We provoked this dark blizzard
Caused it to navigate inward

3. Layers of the eclipsed diamond
I encounter as I descend
Deeper into what I discover
The hidden parts of me to uncover

4. Who am I? a being with need?
A soul that grows forgetting its seed?
To depend upon what is not there
To rely on something that vanished to thin air

5. I know I once held relations with her
Now I hold close what is all a blur
I tighten my grip, holding on to hope
I blind myself, limiting my scope

6. Did I imagine it all?
The rise of love and its fall?
What if this now is the lie?
Go back to sleep or one more try?

7. Colder and colder
Older and older
Our fears grow alongside
Until we finally let go and confide

Seed 32

2011-02-23T15:05:00.004-05:00

1. Would you take me into consideration?
Would you admit your misinterpretation?
You push me away, you look past
Yet you run towards me in the end at last

2. Like a wall you hit reality
You thought it was only what you see
That which makes you alive and well
Was covered by a dormant hell

3. The clock cares not for your story
This space has no interest for glory
What is there since the beginning
Will go on past your end, still spinning

4. These are the threads of dark and light
Pain and pleasure, stemmed from its sight
The eye of the beholder, it sees clear
No alterations to the web you steer

5. You tread, unknowing of the chapters you write
Deeper into the realm where there's no light
You are sent by a messenger long forgotten
She is the one that has not lost faith within

6. She is met by those who cross over the path
You are greeted by silence as you confront your wrath
From her garb she removes the tool at hand
The reaver of pain, she unwinds every strand

7. Every story come to pass
Every memory kept amass
She will remind you of what you have lived
In the end, you know what you must give

Seed 33

2011-02-23T15:05:00.002-05:00

1. The layers of who you were buried atop
Your construction, it crumbles as it drops
A model of your vision of I
Now beneath the new truth piled high

2. We are built from the blueprints of others
Individuality gone asunder
Higher and higher without foundation
Concealed with little inspiration

3. Sad is the domain in which we dwell
All alike, you cannot tell
Who it is that I am
What I offer has been damned

4. To be yourself in truth
Tear it all down, from bottom to roof
One by one, sort out the bricks
Dismantle the lies and the tricks

5.As the asbestos fills your lungs
Your assumptions become well hung
The walls that were built strong
Deteriorate and expose all their wrong

6. What are you left with as you break down?
Do you see the cause for your innate frown?
The palace of your falsehood projected
Did not live up as it was rejected

7. You cannot fool me, I will not allow
For you to rebuild, no way.. no how
Your corruption wasted much of me
Now that I'm destroyed do I truly see

Seed 31

2011-02-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

1. To penetrate the pain you must not run
In fact you must realize you are both one
It is a gift misunderstood and feared
If only it were opened, if it were peered

2. Upon my trials of the dark
Within the black diamond was my mark
For that was my prison, my cocoon to emerge
I was to resonate its essence and not diverge

3. There did I let in all its toxins
A poison that was to consume me thin
I knew from the start the way to the cure
Was to derive an antidote from the impure

4. Seep into my veins
Absorb all your pains
See truly what it is you face
Align what has been displaced

5. The only way out
Is to know all about
The walls of your domain
Can only crumble from your pain

6. Therefore do not run
Instead, reunite and become one
Do not fear the shadow of your fears
Reconcile them, make them your peers

7. Take it all in
Make the hurt dance and spin
Summon the storm of your life
Made of all the beauty of our strife

Seed 30

2011-02-23T15:03:00.002-05:00

1. Unlock the dark trials and release the beast
By the end you will know it all and say the least
For in its shadow will you find your demise
You will be free, you will no longer walk with disguise

2. Preserved was I, as was the serpent
I always gave, never was reluctant
The divine dragon, a lustrous sight
Even it fell, succumbed to the night

3. Once upon a time, I loved myself whole
Then something came way, my light it stole
With no ambiance, you have but one way
You begin the shadowed path to decay

4. From the light you are born
This is the story, it is sworn
What of the other side never seen?
What of its destiny where you've never been

5. This is the story of the Dragon of Light
Its fall from the skies, confronting its fright
This god of the snow, indestructible was it
Its emerald sheen could not be slit

6. Its heart was not so sturdy for it was shattered
Along with its traveler, her soul was battered
Together they had love for all that shined
Now they search themselves, their inner mind

7. I once came across this dragon of distort
It was when I too was at my last resort
Selflessly it showed me great wisdom
Along with its companion, I saw how to truly be one.

Seed 29

2011-02-23T15:03:00.001-05:00

1. Very well, brave wanderer.. here it is
There is no escape or retreat from this
It is all or nothing.. none and everything
In this riddle you will no longer be missing

2. I ask you, traveler of the heart
Where on the line do you end and start?
This path however is not of a linear nature
In order to venture you must be an evolved creature

3. To find the answer you will tread through mirage
Many obstacles you must prevail and dodge
The sands of time will prove your strongest foe
Its storm of memories will hinder you slow

4. If you might pass through the tundra will you meet
Cold as your black heart is its unforgiving sleet
Its snow caps will bury you just like your pain
Its mountainous pressure will pelt you like frozen rain

5. If you survive and have not frozen still
Your path will lead you to the molten red spill
There is nowhere to escape the ash of this valley
Its tormenting heat will incinerate and sear

6. If you are still breathing you will reach the horizon
The deepest of the seven seas arises from within
The waves crash upon your being like an immortal strain
Its clarity and aurora of virtue forever leave you stained

7. If you have survived these four corners of my trials
If you have any ounce left of you not beguiled
You will know the answer to my riddle upon your arrival
Life is to be lived, it is not just about survival

Seed 28

2011-02-23T15:02:00.000-05:00

1. Take me, deliver me back to myself
I yearn for this more than any wealth
Stab me, break me, Disassemble me
Whatever it takes, however it need be

2. I must toughen in order to evolve
I must abandon the old in order to resolve
What I thought defined me in return raped me
My growth incinerated like a burned down tree

3. Down the road of one's destiny
You will encounter what you cannot flee
The guardians of these paths will illuminate you
Through darkening your way, they will see you through

4. It is said that the answer is the light
But even Heaven can blind you upon your flight
The sun burns bright relentlessly
It does not discern what you cannot see

5. The hopes and assumptions of the billions
Are easily disappointed when confronted with oblivion
It is expected that all in life will just follow
Worlds were not built on an idea that is hollow

6. There is real substance and meaning to it all
You will know this fully once you rise and fall
For every Heaven there is a brothered Hell
These twins of the eclipse are neither sick or well

7. These guardians of truth will fight without end
Against any blasphemy they will create a new trend
Envoys of the eternal and innate wisdom
The forefathers of a destiny that cannot be undone

Seed 27

2011-02-23T14:56:00.000-05:00

1. Do you care to fall deep and drown into remembrance?
Or will you return having abandoned it all resurfaced?
Are you willing to hurt to experience love?
Or will you know a lesser shell and return above?

2. Patients are we in this hospital planet
Victimized and taunted, our self esteem rancid
We are the beaten, the abused
We are the scarred hearts, so wrongly misused

3. How could one ever hurt such a delicate angel?
How could one feel justified for such a horrid thrill?
You used to hold me, caress me with love
You adored me and told me I was always put above

4. Then the day came when you began to change
That dreaded day when your love became strange
You saw it fit to verbally molest me
You fell deaf upon my deafening plea

5. I looked upon your eyes and would see innocence
Now my vision of you is cluttered with your sins
I never blamed you, in fact I felt remorse
I loved you regardless, felt pity in your discourse

6. Even that limit found its end
I would never again even call you friend
It disturbed me to see you have to go
In the end the only answer to give was no

7. I think of you sometimes, it's all a fog
My memories of you are a tainted smog
All that was good, what I liked about you
Repeatedly distorts the buried love and truth

Seed 26

2011-02-23T14:55:00.002-05:00

1. What you think to be your heart you don't know
The shell that was broken you try to sew
This is not your heart as your body is not you
It is merely the surface of what beats true

2. What then underlies the skin of a greater force?
An element that is no better, no worst
A divinity found neither in Heaven nor Hell
The pulse that dilates, only you can tell

3. When it will surface and show its form
Awaken it from slumber, its eternal dorm
It is now that I call upon you, wise one
May you show us the way and have us undone

4. Inside you dwell and await in observation
There in your god space do you witness unfolding creation
When there is reason for you to strike do you awaken
Then do you appear before those that are mistaken

5. You are the god of a nether world long ago
You cannot be seen, only to those pure do you show
Pure of light or dark you do not judge
You are without difference, you hold no grudge

6. Emperor of the yin and yang what do you say?
Guide us towards a new truth, take us far away
For this world is in despair, it cries for the new age
It is in need of the new Herald, the wise sage

7. Pierce our hearts, spread your innate presence
Shine the seven dark gems of iridescence
Let them be the beacon of light to follow
May all illusion fall before you and be hallowed

Seed 25

2011-02-23T14:55:00.001-05:00

1. Are you truly ready to see what you are?
To confront what is near but was kept afar?
We are what make up your heart, your love and will
We are what beats for you in health and when ill

2. An endeavor of storms do we pass through
An adventure of deception and finding what is true
We venture alongside the days of our story
We are the writers of a legacy, you and me

3. Through sickness and in health
In harsh times, in poverty and in wealth
No matter what we have to eat, how we're sheltered
The ups and downs, we ride the helter skelter

4. Hand in hand, we hurt and feel each other
Tear by tear, we are sister and brother
The family that is formed out of sheer will
The awe of the journey that is an eternal thrill

5. By and by are we faced by different faces
Each a challenge masked by our previous traces
Will we overcome them and fade its illusion?
Or will we give in and surrender to our delusion?

6. I wonder if at some point it serves to be defeated
In order to understand a lesson and not have it repeated
Is there anything to learn or is it just to remember?
Should we stay together or is it better to dismember?

7. Would we be truly lost if separated?
Or would be return to what we once created?
This is the test of faith for these two birds
They are what soars in our hearts and is forever heard

Seed 24

2011-02-23T14:53:00.003-05:00

1. Tell me what you will, for I do not know
Show me what you may, for I no longer grow
Though I am dead I am not gone or deleted
I must see the truth even though I am depleted

2. Losing all energy in aspects of being
Drained in all senses, no longer seeing
What is the way and what is the reason
Everything seems as if it is committing treason

3. With nothing left to lose, nothing to gain
I am locked away, I am constrained
Prisoner of my own will, I am oddly at ease
Here there is no one to impress, nothing to please

4. Down and defeated, though I am not gone
For with every sunset, spurs a new dawn
This new light cast upon the valley
Is a dark emanation, nothing before seen

5. With nothing in my arsenal left to use
Leaves me at advantage, it is time to choose
For out of the void comes infinity
Faithless then.. now you will believe

6. The archangel of Death visited my chamber
It felt strange, but she did not seem like a stranger
Her cold hands chilled down my neck and chest
Upon which she handed me the key, hidden upon my crest

7. It was the answer to all that I yearned for
It unlocked the hidden meaning, opened a new door
I didn't know what to expect, what was in store
All I felt was that I was truly alive deep in my core

Seed 23

2011-02-23T14:53:00.001-05:00

1. Ready or not, willing or able
Something had to give to make this stable
Without heart I had nothing to lose
I was beyond being broken, battered and bruised

2. Translucent is my substance, it is clear to see
A smog you enter upon viewing what is now me
Make your way through my ash, it's the last thing you'll see
As you fade away along with my memory's debris

3. Place your path upon the heat of Hades
No wisdom can help you here, not even Socrates
For here it is the dream of a broken man
Here lies the remnants of an angel's last stand

4. The pits of molten will seer through your veins
It will burn you, sending you to Hell's eternal lanes
You will be driven into madness and despair
Insanity will become you as you breathe my toxic air

5. Become as magma, harden your soul to the core
Use your heart as my burial ground for me to store
Keep my spirit of the shell of yesterday
Let it sink deep, let it flow astray

6. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Letting go of the phoenix is a must
For its crimson wings are now burned
Blackened to new heights, strength is earned

7. Look to my eyes, what do you see?
Is it you? No.. is it me..?
It is neither. It is a ghost born anew
They are the ties that bond us real and true

Seed 22

2011-02-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

1. One by one they begin to stop
One by one do I feel burning from bottom to top
It is all my anguish, torment and sorrow
There was nowhere to go, no time left to borrow

2. The pendulum falls, the arms crumble
The hours and seconds erode as I begin to stumble
Where am I? This place of barren void
Or rather when am I? The time injected like a steroid

3. I find myself running, don't know where to
The reason is a fog, much like me and you
Shadows chasing after one another
Overlapping as we begin to smother

4. The regrets of yesterday's hour
Are summoned as today's new power
Tomorrow is uncertain as to its fate
Now is for sure, along with love and hate

5. Armored am I with beings beyond my own
No longer will I venture without cause or alone
I am not abandoned by what cannot be destroyed
I am embraced forever by the divine envoy

6. You are my carrier, and I your partner
Together we will recreate this world, I as your garner
You ask nothing of me, for you are truly pure
You are the answer to this poison, indeed the cure

7. Into the elements of all are we forged and steeled
An indestructible icon of truth do we wield
Bring to us those who dare to crumble our vision
You cannot kill what is dead, now make your decision

Seed 21

2011-02-23T14:51:00.000-05:00

1. The orbs dance about in a careless drift
The space in between creates an unseen rift
Symbiotes of a pain buried deep within me
They drift about like mindless banshees

2. Glowing eerily they surround me one by one
Like stars dying in a distant space, they are done
Their death signifies their new form upon this realm
By nature it appears as if they have a story to tell

3. 'Tis the tale of the boy who had a dream
He was born upon the skies, near the gentlest stream
The child of the sky-bound kingdom, he was unique
Upon this Earth he came to rekindle the obsolete

4. The boy knew not what no was or the absence of
For he was made of love, the star that fell from above
All his eyes would see is beauty, his ears a melody
With the youth of a seed, he had the wisdom of a tree

5. His destiny was known in his mind and soul
Just through his will alone he'd reach his goal
To forever immortalize the bliss of communion
Little did he know, soon he'd witness the demise of reunion

6. Tainted was now the once pure spirit of light
Distraught, a man apart confronted with a fight
The enduring struggle, the war fought within
Enveloping his being throughout, to his very skin

7. The angel that once graced the lands of this home
Surrounded by the love of his people, was now alone
For he had ventured where no one would
He had given meaning the only way he could

Seed 20

2011-02-23T14:24:00.000-05:00

1. I approach them slowly and enter within
Their circle of the nether, neither blessing or sin
They are truths of the other, the side neglect
Unknown consciousness on which we never reflect

2. Stacked are the layers of pain and sorrow
We use them as excuse, as time to borrow
Never do we explore these files of experience
We fear the reaper within our own instincts

3. If only we would take that leap
We could salvage, maybe even keep
The essence of what we didn't know back then
To be so precious upon yesterday's when

4. Why do we neglect the darker beauties of love?
Why do we selfishly put ourselves above?
Is it fear or misunderstanding that gets in the way?
Is it out thoughts, our actions, the words we say?

5. When and how do we begin the deterioration?
What reason is so great as to destroy our creation?
Such lovely harmony echoed throughout our seasons
Now they wither and decay for all the wrong reasons

6. There comes a time and way when the suppressed arise
They will no longer succumb, nor compromise
Enough is enough, no more denial of the heart
Face me you will, from the end to the very start

7. I am the new soul formed of the forgotten
I embrace all that love is, whether it be fresh or rotten
I am the mark of of rebirth, beyond death and life
Throw at me what you will, all your pleasures and strife

Seed 19

2011-02-23T14:22:00.001-05:00

1. Unlike light, they do not shine
They do not come from you, they're mine
I have created such paradox, such illogic
Yet this dark emanation is above all cosmic

2. Reaped from the inner regions of my crest
They unite and overcome my worst and best
Their nature is unseen and unknown
Though abandoned, with them I was no longer alone

3. What never leaves you is the memory of time
It has eternal compassion to recall each chime
The melody of life composed by our chapters
Sound and silenced simply waiting to be raptured

4. These elements that are beyond time and space
Bend the fabrics of its sensible lace
They extend and enhance what once was
Fully realizing the shadows of our once us

5. Seven shine, seven darken in and out
They radiate an eclipsed thought all about
This new concept of yin and yang forged
Is now reality defied, surpassed and scorched

6. Born from a matter of divine mystery
It is uncertain as to the origin of the debris
They do not come from any one beginning
Forever, then and now destiny is spinning

7. The seven arise when looked upon
They are ready to serve when you don
The cloak of Nether, the gems of dark hue
Together they will reunite and find the lost you

Seed 18

2011-02-23T14:21:00.001-05:00

1.They shine about in a way unlike reality
You must let go of all logic in order to see
For these dark gems of emotion and matter
Must be engulfed into your being to shatter

2.Like diamonds they are indestructible
The only way inside is to know they're combustible
You must hold them near the warmth of your heart
You must hold them dear all the way to the start

3.They will send you back to a time of need
They will show you chapter one, your original seed
For in this did you first sprout from soil
In this beginning did you not yet know turmoil

4.Like the first snow of the Winter, you were clean
Your heart was crystal clear, a lustrous sheen
You were born with a purpose, a vision in mind
Desire and action, this was your life without bind

5.This beautiful season defrosted and melted
Your dream dissolved, you hurt and felt it
You watched it die along with your very self
You mistook the lifespan of love with wealth

6.To truly be rich is to know one's worth
It is given to you in fullness since your birth
Inside of you it shall remain even beyond
Even after you and I are both gone

7.True love, though not yet realized
It is real, just waiting to be visualized
It is up to the creator and the canvas
To unlock our souls and recreate us

Seed 17

2011-02-23T14:20:00.001-05:00

1.What do you do? What do you become?
The paths greatly feared I must soon succumb
In them are the origins, the design of fear
In them are my soul, my heart seen crystal clear

2.Assumption of the light becomes grave
It is believed and received, all that you gave
You neglected the other side of me, it was denied
No matter what I did, how hard I tried

3.I reached out to you, for I sensed your pain
I sympathized your suffering, I invited its strain
I wished that I could know your personal Hell
This way I could heal you, this way I could tell

4.Upon this request beyond the divine
Was it made my quest, your pain was mine
I loved you wholly, your bad and good
In the end I was abandoned and misunderstood

5.Until this day I know it is still true
You wish to never see me, nor to hear me through
I was left in a place beyond alone
You took my heart, it was no longer my own

6.I was not left empty handed, not at all
You left me with a disease, on my knees to crawl
Silence was your response to my cries of agony
It pleasured you deep down not to see me

7.You knew damn well when you left me for dead
Drowning and burning, an everlasting dread
Beyond all my resentment and sadness
I still wish you well in my painful stillness

Seed 16

2011-02-23T14:19:00.000-05:00

1.In the middle, the unknown gray
Here there is no night, there is no day
A twilight of emotion frozen throughout
Memories and regrets scurrying about

2.A place all too familiar to recall
Within this domain no thought is too big or small
All is reflected and revisited again
No matter the time, whether 'tis now or then

3.Do you remember me, for I do you
Black Diamond, my domain of dark hue
How I thought once that I was imprisoned
When in fact in this broken heart lied wisdom

4.You showed me without restraint my mirror
All the toxicity allowed from me through her
Endless do the thoughts replayed stretch out
Echoed in time are my regrets and doubt

5.I ran and ran, I didn't know why
Until the day I fell, it was my last try
The force that stopped me, it was my shadow
It had emerged from behind, it showed me where to go

6.For so long I had been running from myself
Not knowing what the reason was, so stealth
My own doppelganger, the dark side awake
Had halted my insanity, revealed what was fake

7.Do not run away from anything you sew
In doing this does it outrun you and overthrow
Instead, learn to accept and adapt
Do not lose your way, do not become trapped

Seed 15

2011-02-23T14:18:00.002-05:00

1.All emotion combined and centered
Then suddenly released and dismembered
Experienced, connected, remembered
At a cross roads.. as you must be rendered

2.Chakras of the body are displayed
A new wave of pain experienced and dismayed
I am the architect of a new age and time
I am the one who saves us all and commits the crime

3.From the bottom to the top
My mind is injected and my heart drops
The soul is in constant quest
Centered is now the dark crest

4.The seven, they now serve and dissolve
Evolve they must, let go and resolve
A new era is upon us, we must look beyond
Let us be open to this newly forged bond

5.The connection of the new dark light
Was created upon our death, born from the night
All look to the pure angel of demise
Reconnect to him now, for he will not compromise

6.He will not promise what cannot be delivered
He will not stand for your pain being belittled
Empower us all and show us the way to salvation
The key is in embracing your truth and recreation

7.Do not fear being afraid, instead become it
Before you were in denial of your nature, you were split
Now you begin to see the way of your heart
You have known it all along, from the very start

Seed 14

2011-02-23T14:18:00.001-05:00

1.The layers of flesh, the bone, the soul
Toxic with passion, consumed in its new role
We hurt when we love, now we love when we hurt
You forget which is last and which comes first

2.Intertwined like the bands of D.N.A.
Twins of a common destiny, we come and decay
Intricate in our design, simple in our desires
We stretch our dreams upon the skies, dangled from wires

3.The constellations are birthed from our origins
Our passion and dedication surpassed all blessings and sins
We were the beacon of hope for man and God, alike
Nothing could stand in our way, until it decided to strike

4.Only one thing could ever destroy the eternal
It is found where you would never think, it is internal
What made us so great, so complete, so divine
Was the very knife which killed us. Yes, it was mine

5.This blade of insecurity was drawn by you
Cold and sheer, it opens my fears and cuts through
Your denial and ignorance of me, it spawned our death
I fell in love with the angel, but fell to the wretch

6.I am to blame as well, for my anger bested me
It's double-edged blade carved us easily
My fury burned you, my longing froze us
Leaving us in disharmony, disconnected as thus

7.All that is left are pitiful memories
They have lost value, for now they only displease
What have we become, from whence we came?
Lines within a poem, a grudge that I claim

Seed 13

2011-02-23T14:17:00.002-05:00

1.Alone and lost.. I drifted dead further deep
The absent core drew to me in my sleep
I cannot escape you, I can't let go
The poison seeps in so immense, so slow

2.Autumn brings the death of temperance
Love brought me an excruciating resonance
The leaves upon the oak and ivy tumble
My being's wellness taints and crumbles

3.I suffocate at the touch of yesterday
She is a wolf amongst this forest of decay
Her fangs are sharp, hungry for my pain
There is no way for her to be slain

4.This is a beast that cannot be captured
For within it is something so vile to be raptured
It is the source of dread and misery
Found in the past, uprooted today upon me

5.There is rumor however of a way to stop it
It involves becoming the monster, entering the pit
Only then can you battle the demon deep down
Upon your transformation, attack and take her crown

6.Do not allow the monsters to take what's pure
Even if you submerge to darkness, remember the cure
You are the master of all that is true
All others no matter how strong are stemmed from you

7.You provide their canvas of opportunity
You have given them life, their eyes to see
When it is needed, when the hour echoes loud
Awaken and reclaim your creatures back to the shroud

Seed 12

2011-02-23T14:17:00.001-05:00

1.I held you dear, I gave my heart
I longed for you, we were apart
Lost forever.. then and once again
Now, I don't know where.. nor do I know when

2.A compass guides you, shows you the way
The human heart sometimes leads you astray
It is a device upon which must be discerned
Through honor and truth are its arrows earned

3.The clocks beats, it constantly tics
The human heart pounds, to yours it sticks
Its hands revolve, pointing to the hour
Ours simply embrace, symbolizing power

4.The sands of the hour glass slowly sink
Memories of you and I remain the only link
They cover our pains of loss and separation
Thinking back you see the beauty and declaration

5.They say the seven seas are a source of forgetting
Many travel to unload all that is unsettling
Look to the vastness, for it will welcome it all
Before letting go, be careful not to fall

6.Horizons into forever, the sky meets your essence
All that you remember and encounter enters your presence
Gather them all and place them into your bottle
Seal it tight, say a prayer and journey full throttle

7.As you lay them upon the shore
Be still and witness the forgotten lore
Legends are about to unfold
Your legacies will forever be told

Seed 11

2011-02-23T14:16:00.001-05:00

1.Where are you? I search so desperate
My anger, my hatred, my fear- they grasp it
What once beat for you, the face of love
A broken soul that fell from above

2.How many have I mistaken? Thought it was you
Just a substitute I had foolishly hoped was true
The longer I am away from your caress
The deeper I sink into this agonizing mess

3.An army of pawns do I fight through
All in uniform, claiming to be the real you
My only weapon to slay these shells
Is earned through the pain appreciated in Hell

4.The generals of this regime stand their ground
They are the past, the future that was never bound
Abandoned or rejected did they leave me in shambles
This squire was stripped of dignity, left to scramble

5.The only approach to confront these bosses
Is to mend your being and bear your crosses
Faith that was bayoneted, left for dead
Rekindle its fire, along with all the blood shed

6.Passion is your armor, perseverance your valor
Now ravage past the forces, go and get her
Beware but do not deny the admins of hurt and denial
No matter how vicious their assault, no matter how vile

7.Slay the faces of an old governed heart
Burn their sovereign rules and pave a new start
Pierce the tyrant that sins upon your soul
Become King and Queen, reclaim what they stole

Seed 10

2011-02-23T14:15:00.000-05:00

1.To what do I look? A soul with false claim?
That I shall remain untouched.. perfect, all the same
The great promise as told throughout
As I spit in the face of whom this shouts

2.Such words are spouted, so many lies
With each word given birth, a dream dies
The limits and illusions of our imagination
Confides and distorts true creation

3.As vast as the seven seas are our bonds
Much like water, they are transparent in their wrongs
We speak not to allow but to hold on to
Clarity and passion are crushed into the blue

4.Bottled are our true feelings, they sink deep
In its place, an ocean of poison we allow to seep
The pressure of this sludge is too much to bear
It drowns me, destroys me, cuts off all my air

5.The Pacific airs impress a forgotten past
The Atlantic winds suggest a new forecast
Follow the waves as they crash into you
Allow the tears and all your passion subdue

6.Remember each grain of emotion comprise
The beach of all feeling, every timely demise
This voyage has lead me to a standstill
A place where all is frozen, there is no warm thrill

7.This crystalline cove is home to my emprisoned heart
It is where it all began, the night of our start
The eve upon which I showed you the black canvas
On which the dream was painted, the stars of us

Seed 9

2011-02-23T14:14:00.002-05:00

1.My whole life was I just a half
Living beneath an aftermath
Not whole, not complete
Ignorant to being obsolete

2.Like the leaves of a flower
Yearn for the blossoms to empower
I knew I was not the whole
I was part of a greater soul

3.I am one but without you, just a part
A middle with no end and no start
Suspended in time, grasped to its chains
I'd do anything to feel, endure any pains

4.A bird in the sky, flying endlessly
Navigating towards what he used to see
The hopes are high much like the northern wind
Through the storms I seek the horizon within

5.I meet the sparrow, it chirps to me
Fellow bird, I feel that you are in seek
Might it be the feeling of adventure once more?
Then allow yourself a chance unlike before

6.The Eagle soars above, it relays to me
Young wanderer, I sense you search for belief
Perhaps it'd be best to regain your strength
Your wings of being will then expand to new lengths

7.I am met with the moon, its face expresses
Within its visage, a reflected shadow refreshes
Brave Phoenix, I know what your journey leads you to
It is here and now, see yourself and know this is all true

Seed 8

2011-02-23T14:14:00.001-05:00

1.You see me through the eyes of my past
What you fail to see is that they didn't last
For in their denial did they begin to cast
The dark light behind the screen, emanating fast

2.I put you through my path, the way of my vision
In the end I was blind and made a dreary decision
Emotion and youth made me uncontrollable
Rash are we when young, unforgivable

3.We say what hurts us the most
Its pain haunts us like a ghost
They are echoed forever in our heart
Down the corridors of us, they tore us apart

4.Our ears used to hear such divine song
The sound of I love you never felt wrong
Now they bleed to the screams of decay
They settle for any noise, even if it brings dismay

5.Our eyes used to behold such beauty in us
The sight of you in my life was always a must
Now those very orbs are filled with remorse
Nothing, not even Hell could ever feel worst

6.This is my unexpected destiny of the dark
It threw me astray, far along this journey
You dream such innocent futures when young
Only to grow old and watch them all hung

7.There is still one thing that cannot die
No matter the pain, whatever fear may try
It is the constant and eternal inside
Perhaps this is where the soul resides

Seed 7

2011-02-23T14:12:00.001-05:00

1.A chilling cut opens my hide
In its cold metal do I oddly begin to confide
Excruciating in measure, its pain
Yet it comforts me through its deafening stain

2.For this reaver of individuation
Seeps through and awakens creation
You have been sleepwalking amongst the land
Connected to all, down to every last strand

3.Awaken from the dream or dream while awake
Reserve yourself forever or put it all at stake
Choosing the side that suits your reality
Or destroying it, rise to your destiny

4.Like the branches of a tree
Cringe into infinity, set yourself free
You are not confined to your seed
You are beyond your thought, word and deed

5.Time has captured you, hindered you still
Its sands of regret have robbed you of the thrill
You forget your true nature, your very origin
To deny yourself, this is the only real sin

6.You have hid from your wings long enough
You have what it takes, just the right stuff
Abandon yourself no longer, instead forget
Go beyond it all, even promise and regret

7.All things will reach its death, even you
Phoenix of this Earth, burn an intense hue
For you are the one that embraced death and life
In this you are immortal, you accept even God's demise

Seed 6

2011-02-23T14:10:00.001-05:00

1.The vines and roots.. the soil underneath
Shadow-rooted they attach and absorb my belief
My reality, my assumption.. it was all my Heaven
I look amidst the void and begin to feel the seven

2.What began as happenstance, an often occurrence
Transitioned to a twisted, emotional insurance
The doors to our truths were shut tight
For our poisons began to invade and spread fright

3.The courtyard of our fond existence
Was uprooted, its foliage extinguished
The passion flame which warmed our days
Became shrouded, its valley all a haze

4.The pedals upon the cherry blossomed trees fell
They burned landing upon the brimstone of this new Hell
This was not our vision yet all too real
This pain was above our realm of knowing to feel

5.Memories became anguish, longing and regret
Nightmares relived, unchanged.. trying to forget
The truth and lies are all meshed into a discord
Our connection and health is taxed what we can't afford

6.Death would seem a great gift out of this torture
Begging for a change if symphony, a new overture
Alas, this is our new land and home
We are doomed to ravage these soils, to desperately roam

7.I was once an angel alongside you, my love
We engraved the eternal star-crossed above
Now as all stars we have met our destined fall
Are we truly lost, or have we found the be-all?

Seed 5

2011-02-23T14:05:00.000-05:00

1.I fall.. I fall.. reaching out to yearn
With an innocence tainted soon will I learn
The attempt at capture of this unimaginable
I hit the ground, no longer am I capable

2.I began a squire serving the Queen named Desire
She was just until the day she threw me into the fire
For in her reasoning there was a crime committed
I had opened up completely with nothing omitted

3.Her servants named Unsure and Afraid
Signaled the executioner as he was waved
For what was I severed? Give me the reason
Why did you see my love as a condemned treason?

4.As the axe of despair grimed its cold sheer
Upon my mind of love for you, turned fear
Separate were we now, as was I apart
Blackened were the days of us, coupled with my heart

5.Your faceless expression was never seen
You ran away from what you feared might have been
Into the night did you exile my soul
My joy, my pride, my confidence you stole

6.Oh, wretched ruler of the feared
You know not what you did nor where I was steered
For upon my final breath of this shelled world
Did I meet the Face of true Justice, our destinies swirled

7.This specter of the end, this granter of the beyond
Resurrected me into a Death Knight, a grim new bond
My love, you tore me apart at my very zenith
Soon the hour strikes, your appointment with the Dark Phoenix

Seed 4

2011-02-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

1.Deep to the core of the first
The feeling of you as it gets worst
It chokes me, provokes me, leaves me restless
The pain does not subside..it becomes my tempest

2.Like two one winged angels flying together
Soaring to the top with the belief of forever
The only thing that can cease their destiny
Are the vultures of doubt, gouging what they see

3.The predators of doubt and fear
Hover above the two, cradling them near
The skies that were clear and paved
Clouded and darkened what couldn't be saved

4.The bounded ascendants panicked as they were met
Confronted by their inner shadows, they'd soon forget
Relinquished would be their memories, history were they
A faint recollection they'd become upon a distant day

5.These inner turmoils pecked and ravaged at our surface
We feared the worst and indeed created this dreaded preface
Our downfall was lead by our merged nightmare
It decayed us into a realm of a certainty that was unfair

6.In this overshadowed justice was a system controlled
We were the judge and executioner; we killed and overruled
The victim and culprit were one in the same
As we gazed our eyes once more, we knew who was to blame

7.The very angels which had longed of Heaven forever
Now were destined to face its walls crumble and dismember
Along with it went the foundation of its stronghold
Shooting stars are said to have been this kingdom's mold

Seed 3

2011-02-23T14:03:00.000-05:00

1.The last glimmer of light sparks its last tear
As it is vortexed into the canvas of its fear
The heart that beat for an original purpose
Creates itself anew while its shell forever nervous

2.Shattered, scattered, dispersed are we
The shards and remnants of your innards are free
Was that throbbing core which malfunctioned your heart?
It appears that it's better off torn apart

3.Reliance on anything or anyone may prove frivolous
To place what you lost in someones hands sounds marvelous
This is the fairy tale told by the angels above
This is the story no longer believed even by its purest dove

4.You see us all as we are down here
You see us broken but without fear
We are not a mirror of illusion or deceit
We are the ones that laugh at victory and deny defeat

5.Minuscule are what we have become through demise
Humbled are we through the balanced release of the wise
Ignorance is not found in the heartless shell of ours
Nothing is there, indeed the void are our powers

6.What say you, traveler from the high ground?
To what are you attached? To what is your essence bound?
Are you ready to let go of what you think you are?
Are you willing to tread the journey near and far?

7.You feel you are not equipped for this road
I say all that you need is lost within this mode
You are more than what you were, fallen warrior
It is beyond what you will do for yourself or for her

Seed 2

2011-02-23T13:59:00.000-05:00

1.As I began my maniacal laughter, it all began to surface
The lid that slowly creeped served as my dark preface
What was remembered as good.. as a beacon of light
Was but a stepping stone for my soul to don the night

2.Pandora knew my face the day he created
The box which is home to all loved and hated
Endless mold of the emoted damned and divine
Swarming through this ocean I knew they were all mine

3.We all are adjust to the fine air above
We all believe in the comfort and cradle of love
Yet what does one do when those needs are lost
The substance of what we are, we'd have it at any cost

4.Are we born of the light? Is it what we are?
Why are we thrown away from it, so harsh and so far?
This I ask of you, Keeper of discord
What is the meaning of all that you hoard?

5.You stand there before me silent with no answer
The undending question, this quest became my cancer
You show no remark and hold a quiet chill
While I let the toxic in and allow it to kill

6.I have no fear while injecting the disease
All this time I have pretended to be at ease
At last I will take the first step to the end
No more lies or masks, The Reaper Grim I will befriend

7.What I have opened you must know was always there
I thought life would be happy, truly without a care
At the end of the road, I am met by the dark guide
I reach for his hand, leaving the world that lied

Seed 1

2011-02-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

1.In order to fully live you must embrace its demise
The twins of death and life are born of compromise
Thoughts of bad and good are labels of the mind
Tread with thine inner eyes, and become divinely blind

2.You will then begin to see the path and journey
The trails of who you are will unfold for you to believe
What you deny, what you embrace
They are neither a blessing or disgrace

3.These forks and roads are what you decide
There is no reason to run from them, nor hide
They are simply what forms from the inner you
They are the meaning you give them, the only thing true

4.Whethered and tired, you tread down the path
You continue regardless of the bliss or wrath
Outside motives are of no use
They will lead you astray, into abuse

5.Heed wisely with awareness where you go
Regardless of the way, remember what you know
You are more than a traveler, you go beyond
You are the connection, the eternal bond

6.Whom you meet, what you may face
Take it all in, keep what matters in place
The puzzle of who you are, what underlies
It is found within, it soars to the endless skies

7.The road less traveled but fully explored
The one you saw clearly but ended up ignored
Be without regrets for you have truly lived
You are the journey of love, the everlasting that you give

Seeds (Main Poem)

2011-02-23T13:45:00.003-05:00

This is hands down the most titanic poem I've ever written. 49 stanzas is not what makes it so vast. It's pretty large at 49 stanzas alone, yes. However, each of these 49 stanzas I stemmed off as the first stanza of 49 additional, separate poems. Each additional stemmed poem is 7 stanzas long. That's 343 stanzas total! This is my first epic poem.. that's pretty.. epic!

1.In order to fully live you must embrace its demise
The twins of death and life are born of compromise
Thoughts of bad and good are labels of the mind
Tread with thine inner eyes, and become divinely blind

2.As I began my maniacal laughter, it all began to surface
The lid that slowly creeped served as my dark preface
What was remembered as good.. as a beacon of light
Was but a stepping stone for my soul to don the night

3.The last glimmer of light sparks its last tear
As it is vortexed into the canvas of its fear
The heart that beat for an original purpose
Creates itself anew while its shell forever nervous

4.Deep to the core of the first
The feeling of you as it gets worst
It chokes me, provokes me, leaves me restless
The pain does not subside..it becomes my tempest

5.I fall.. I fall.. reaching out to yearn
With an innocence tainted soon will I learn
The attempt at capture of this unimaginable
I hit the ground, no longer am I capable

6.The vines and roots.. the soil underneath
Shadow-rooted they attach and absorb my belief
My reality, my assumption.. it was all my Heaven
I look amidst the void and begin to feel the seven

7.A chilling cut opens my hide
In its cold metal do I oddly begin to confide
Excruciating in measure, its pain
Yet it comforts me through its deafening stain

8.You see me through the eyes of my past
What you fail to see is that they didn't last
For in their denial did they begin to cast
The dark light behind the screen, emanating fast

9.My whole life was I just a half
Living beneath an aftermath
Not whole, not complete
Ignorant to being obsolete

10.To what do I look? A soul with false claim?
That I shall remain untouched.. perfect, all the same
The great promise as told throughout
As I spit in the face of whom this shouts

11.Where are you? I search so desperate
My anger, my hatred, my fear- they grasp it
What once beat for you, the face of love
A broken soul that fell from above

12.I held you dear, I gave my heart
I longed for you, we were apart
Lost forever.. then and once again
Now, I don't know where.. nor do I know when

13.Alone and lost.. I drifted dead further deep
The absent core drew to me in my sleep
I cannot escape you, I can't let go
The poison seeps in so immense, so slow

14.The layers of flesh, the bone, the soul
Toxic with passion, consumed in its new role
We hurt when we love, now we love when we hurt
You forget which is last and which comes first

15.All emotion combined and centered
Then suddenly released and dismembered
Experienced, connected, remembered
At a cross roads.. as you must be rendered

16.In the middle, the unknown gray
Here there is no night, there is no day
A twilight of emotion frozen throughout
Memories and regrets scurrying about

17.What do you do? What do you become?
The paths greatly feared I must soon succumb
In them are the origins, the design of fear
In them are my soul, my heart seen crystal clear

18.They shine about in a way unlike reality
You must let go of all logic in order to see
For these dark gems of emotion and matter
Must be engulfed into your being to shatter

19.Unlike light, they do not shine
They do not come from you, they're mine
I have created such paradox, such illogic
Yet this dark emanation is above all cosmic

20.I approach them slowly and enter within
Their circle of the nether, neither blessing or sin
They are truths of the other, the side neglect
Unknown consciousness on which we never reflect

21.The orbs dance about in a careless drift
The space in between creates an unseen rift
Symbiotes of a pain buried deep within me
They drift about like mindless banshees

22.One by one they begin to stop
One by one do I feel burning from bottom to top
It is all my anguish, torment and sorrow
There was nowhere to go, no time left to borrow

23.Ready or not, willing or able
Something had to give to make this stable
Without heart I had nothing to lose
I was beyond being broken, battered and bruised

24.Tell me what you will, for I do not know
Show me what you may, for I no longer grow
Though I am dead I am not gone or deleted
I must see the truth even though I am depleted

25.Are you truly ready to see what you are?
To confront what is near but was kept afar?
We are what make up your heart, your love and will
We are what beats for you in health and when ill

26.What you think to be your heart you don't know
The shell that was broken you try to sew
This is not your heart as your body is not you
It is merely the surface of what beats true

27.Do you care to fall deep and drown into remembrance?
Or will you return having abandoned it all resurfaced?
Are you willing to hurt to experience love?
Or will you know a lesser shell and return above?

28.Take me, deliver me back to myself
I yearn for this more than any wealth
Stab me, break me, Disassemble me
Whatever it takes, however it need be

29.Very well, brave wanderer.. here it is
There is no escape or retreat from this
It is all or nothing.. none and everything
In this riddle you will no longer be missing

30.Unlock the dark trials and release the beast
By the end you will know it all and say the least
For in its shadow will you find your demise
You will be free, you will no longer walk with disguise

31.To penetrate the pain you must not run
In fact you must realize you are both one
It is a gift misunderstood and feared
If only it were opened, if it were peered

32.Would you take me into consideration?
Would you admit your misinterpretation?
You push me away, you look past
Yet you run towards me in the end at last

33.The layers of who you were buried atop
Your construction, it crumbles as it drops
A model of your vision of I
Now beneath the new truth piled high

34.Memories frozen and prismatic
Reflected inward and chasmic
Like a snowflake, each unique and precious
Like a wound, cold and treacherous

35.As I see what I am shown it unfogs
So much contained, it must be unclogged
Though beautiful and rare I must let it go
For it is no more, it is not mine to show

36.It hurts no more, it is just reactive
The beat automates, I must make it selective
I will forever be exposed for this is the way
There is nothing to hide, not in night nor in day

37.Who am I.. what i was? What I am?
Is my essence divine or is it damned?
Curse or gift? Perhaps is it both?
In this balance am I destined to loath?

38.They dance to me again and sing their song
They illuminate through nevermore where I belong
It is not where anyone or anything can say
Only what I lost can show me the way

39.How do you recapture what you have lost?
How can you say I love you to what you tossed?
How do you solve the riddle with no answer?
How do you become once more one with her?

40.I pray to you, light of the dark, Gods of this realm
I do not know, I cannot remember.. I am overwhelmed
Relinquish me for all that I am, for it is of no value
Break it all, myself the whole I am not true

41.Strength, honor, devotion, what of these?
Are they true valor or just an unnecessary tease?
Dissect me and all of the walls around me
Clear the fog, open my core for all to see

42.They speak to me through their shade and sound
They emit like arrows towards me unbound
Gouge me my children, you must shake me awake
Guide me my parents, do so at any stake

43.Misty and silent.. awaiting my arrival
It was there.. it outlived my survival
You are my final door, my last chapter
Past and present, here thereafter

44.You.. who have come so far at last
You.. who have lived here and passed
You have sought me for so long and now
You confront me in finale, as you give your last bow

45.Do you even remember? Do you know who I am?
Do you believe in this dream, or see it as scam?
Do you leave this to your imagination?
Do you see me as your very own creation?

46.To what do you owe your eyes, stranger?
Have they guided you towards destiny or a grave danger?
How do you choose to see me now? Real or not?
Am I your enemy or am I all that you've got?

47.You see me enveloped, covered by your own dismay
If you'd only believe, this cloak would be washed away
If you could fathom that what served you then, weighs you now
If you would see again, if you'd just allow

48.Look to the mirror, the only one open
Look to the light through the dark, out and in
You seek your answer? Do you really?
Then look to it at last, see that it is me

49.Who am I you ask again? Forgetful till the grave
I am all that I am, all that I gave
I gave it all, I broke it when false, I broke it when true
I am the heart we shared, I am the soul that is you.

Nether Dragon

2011-02-23T13:29:00.002-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

I was face to face with the unseen forces dormant within my heart.
Seven shades, each representing a trial of pain radiated into a formation.
They slithered into what revealed itself to be The Nether Dragon, a fallen serpent which appeared before
those unsure of themselves.

At the base of the dragon stood the other little soul.
The one who set out to find Sun, through countless endeavors along the way.
All so she could remind him that he is the light.

Sun had shrouded himself in darkness to test how bright his heart could shine.
Oni, knowing this figured a way to find him. She too enveloped herself in darkness and
joined the dragon of nether to co-create the dark light.

Through the dark rainbow they emanated a new spectrum of color, uncovering Sun to help complete his quest.

For a year I felt the presence of the dark beast, watching and waiting in the abyss.
It was its destiny to show me the way of my broken heart and renew my spirit.
Now, I stood refined and reborn with a new palette of understanding and compassion.

The Colossus

2011-02-23T13:28:00.003-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

After searching the four corners of the Earth, He had found his friend at last.

A long hiatus initiated the giant's longing for his companion.

The Colossus, a divine beast from the heavens and protector of Earth. .Sun, Guardian of Heaven.

This titan roaming the lands symbolizes friendship and resiliency.

His love and dedication throughout the journey exemplifies his faith in Sun.

Compassion and loyalty are tested but in the end prevail through its honest efforts.

My mother once told me that, "you my son must be like a titan with your abilities."

I took that to heart, inspiring me to create The Colossus..

the symbol of my strength and friendships.

Thank you to my friends, my mother and to that flame inside of me that burns for me to persevere.

Tundra 2

2011-02-23T13:27:00.003-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

Phoenix Valley

2011-02-23T13:25:00.003-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

Kingdom of Light

2011-02-23T13:22:00.003-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

Pandemonium

2011-02-23T13:14:00.005-05:00

ink/ oil on canvas, by Alex Mercado & Ramon Trif

The minds of two deviators of creation springing open Heaven and Hell.
Pandora’s Box had been unlocked, unleashing all its creatures upon a new world.
The rip of its portal sent countless unmentionables forth to wreak havoc upon their will..
Neither comprised of good or bad, the unmentionables were birthed of another force, an unknown.

Frozen

2011-02-23T13:10:00.004-05:00

ink on paper, by Ramon Trif

Buried are our emotions as we suppress them with our fears.
We look the other way and deny our human birthright of experiencing hurt. Fear grips
our heart and places its ice-cold hands upon it tightly. It is up to you to
confront this chill and balance its temperature.

Deepen

2011-02-23T13:08:00.001-05:00

watercolor on watercolor paper, by Ramon Trif

How many tears have comprised your ocean of sorrow? We have all wept over the agony
experienced in our lives. Whether it be through loss, an injustice or a reason too deep to be described.
Many of us go on crying a river, but don’t dive into the meaning behind our sadness.

Heated

2011-02-23T13:06:00.003-05:00

charcoal on board, by Ramon Trif

Can you recall a time in your life when you were full of anger? Did you ever feel
so infuriated to the point of no relief? Many bottle their anger and build pressure upon their being.
I invite you to practice acknowledging your anger and releasing it in a productive way.

Rooted

2011-02-23T12:52:00.007-05:00

oil on canvas, by Ramon Trif

Throughout life one may detach themselves from the foundation of who they are.
When struck with fear or pain it is difficult to endure.
I invite you to stay rooted with your struggles the next time you encounter pain in your life.

Fifth Corner of the Earth: Sanctuary

2011-02-23T12:26:00.003-05:00

"Fifth Corner of the Earth: SANCTUARY"
oil landscape on canvas, by Ramon Trif
* to be displayed at Heaven No More
(secretly released statement by Niles Willow published in The I.S.A.)

"... I was contacted by a Professor Ioan Librescu, head of what is know as The Illuminated Society. He took a profound interest in my Colossus sightings and renderings. He invited me to his home to speak to me about all that took place these past couple of weeks. He offered me some coffee, we exchanged words and then he had asked me to paint what I originally saw that historic night. He wanted to see the beast itself. I have to confess something here and now.. it is something that Professor Librescu encouraged me to do. I feel it is the right thing as well. The Four Corners series was rendered from multiple sightings of The Colossus throughout the far regions of this Earth. If you notice, though.. there is something missing in all my pieces.. The Colossus himself. It is obvious in spotting the marks this titan had left behind in all the land masses.. the footsteps, the trees pushed out of the way, molten lava disrupted, the ocean ripped apart.. yet, I did not paint The Colossus in these settings. The reason being was I didn't think the world was ready to see such a celestial being bestow itself upon this reality out of nowhere. It just seemed so sudden. Still... I feel it's my destiny ever since witnessing this divine giant to rightfully portray it just as I, myself saw it that night in New York City. Another thing is, The Four Corners paintings were sightings of The Colossus days before I had witnessed it, it appears. I come to the conclusion that St. Patrick's Church is in fact The Colossus' final destination in its journey for its friend. It graced its steeple with such care and relief.. it appeared as though it was a familiar sanctuary to it. I don't know.. all I know is, this is what I saw in all its glory and truth that night.. I hope to see it again.. it brings me a strange peace.. as if the world is safe when it's around.. Huh. How funny, this world..."

Four Corners of the Earth: Horizon

2011-02-23T12:23:00.004-05:00

"Four Corners of the Earth: HORIZON"
oil landscape on canvas, by Ramon Trif
* to be displayed at Heaven No More

(direct quote from Niles Willow from The Gilde, newspaper)

"... with my last release of the almighty Colossus sightings I leave you all with a rather hopeful conclusion. After all the criticisms of the media, fellow artist, scientists, religions.. the fact remains that I'm not the only one seeing this divine beast. It was lastly spotted by an islander in the far east. This beautiful sunset to me represents a foreigner's journey in search of a long-time friend come to a close. I feel we all can observe something remarkably beautiful about all this.. if someone of another realm is willing to stop at nothing to find someone dear to it.. we as humans would be wise to remember our own roots of love and dedication. If this Colossus ever reveals itself to us or not along with its partner, I feel this world is not alone and that it is in good hands, being guarded."

Four Corners of the Earth: Valley

2011-02-23T12:19:00.005-05:00

"Four Corners of the Earth: VALLEY"
oil landscape on canvas, by Ramon Trif
* to be displayed at Heaven No More

(article taken from The Gilde, newspaper):
... Niles Willow, the well-known artist turned phenomenon in the recent weeks over his sitings of the elusive "Colossus" releases his third installment. Willow left information to our press regarding his latest piece. He has stated that the "Colossus" will stop at nothing it appears to find his master. It has left enormous foot prints in this South-Eastern volcanic valley, just after its nearby volcano erupted. It is assumed that it is impervious to much of the elements. Perhaps it is in its ancient metallic armor that The Colossus gains his strength... one more release is highly anticipated from Niles this week.)

"Encounter"

2010-12-28T18:27:00.001-05:00

These eyes that try to see
These hands holding you and he
These legs that help you flee
These chains that bind thee

You seek what is innately yours
You scour the world's seven shores
All you want is what we all need
Though it is not to be captured, it is to be freed

You whisper in your heart what you don't need
You yearn for what is embedded in your very seed
The feeling of one, the unity divine
I know all too well, I used to call it mine

This old soul has seen much
I've felt life's promise, down to its touch
I too need nothing but go on for one reason
If I never see it, my life will be a treason

From the source of Heaven's Sun
I have fallen, there I have become
What I must, this ash of the sacred
The spirit of this phoenix, now kindred

Fellow soul that has traveled light and dark
Forget all that you foresee, all that you've embarked
Reclaim what you think is no more
A secret I will share.. look within, gentle soul

You do not need, but indeed you desire
As have I for too long, an eternal fire
An answer I had wished to give someone on my path
Live life fully, forget its aftermath

1: "I Feel Immortal", Tarja

2010-12-14T07:22:00.007-05:00

#1: "I Feel Immortal", by Tarja Turunen

-It was a close call deciding what number 1 would be. It was between "The Catalyst" and "I Feel Immortal". Though both equally powerful in its concept and conveying of a message, what did it for me was that I cried when listening to this song. I not only cried, I sobbed. Yeah, I admit.. I'm not one to hide my emotions, but this one really struck a chord with me.

I saw myself as that child growing up through life's obstacles and becoming of age. I heard it through the lyrics as well. That's what made this song the most meaningful to me.. it hit me on all ends. I related to the boy becoming a man, falling in love only to lose that.. all the while having to continuously climb up that mountain and face life.

The words "I feel immortal" reach the deepest realm of my heart. It conveyed the truth that no matter what one may go through in life.. pain, love, growing up.. we all share a common ground.. the journey of it all. In that journey do we remember ourselves and realize our worth and immortality. The soul is ever so valiant and enduring in its efforts. Tarja is my all time favoritefemale vocalist. A stunning, masterful piece. Thank you for it.

2: "The Catalyst", Linkin Park

2010-12-14T06:56:00.004-05:00

#2: "The Catalyst" by Linkin Park

-Linkin Park has been one of my favorite bands since High School. I've always related my pain within their songs. There's much substance and meaning to every word, note and detail on their work. They take a unique approach in displaying their emotions and messages through music, video and art (yes, art.. their album covers and menus kick ass)

Their song, Catalyst is visually intoxicating in the highest regard. It has an apocalyptic atmosphere coupled with a submersed hope within humanity. There's a strong sense of drowning and suffocating throughout the video. Many people most likely can relate to that feeling in life.. as if there is no hope, it's over.. yet we go on. We struggle to breathe, but breathe and live we will. Perhaps that glimmer of hope will be just enough to rebuild what was lost.

3: "Entre Moi", Qntal

2010-12-14T06:33:00.004-05:00

This is my personal top 3 list of songs listened to in 2010.
Music impacts my life tremendously through the emotions it stirs and the inspiration it provides.

Though I listen to many types of music and a huge playlist, these are my 3 most memorable works:
#3: "Entre Moi (Et Mon Amin)" by Qntal

- When I listen to the lyrics of this unknown language I resonate with the emotion behind it. Since I cannot emphasize a literal translation to the lyrics, the feeling of the song connects easily and on a higher level with me.

It makes me feel like the start of a journey when listening to it. I always imagine myself entering a forest.. you can smell the sweet fragrance of the summer leaves. There is an "ancient" feel to the time of this world. I encounter a beautiful woman with a mysterious aura. We are intrigued and inclined to find out who we are. It plays on a sort of playful chase back and forth to finding each other. There is an innocence and purity to its romance. We embrace and feel as if we've known each other since the beginning of time. Reunited and rekindled, we couple off into the depths and beauty of nature.. to simply be.

Thank you, my Loves

2010-11-25T11:22:00.002-05:00

Year after year, the day we know as Thanksgiving arrives. This is the holiday, or "holy day" in which appreciation is honored. We say "thanks" and "give" in tribute to the spirit of the love that we are. We celebrate abundance through many friends, our families and hoards of food! We remember all that may pass us by so quickly on this day. We release what we treasure and watch over in our hearts with the loved ones dear to us. Let us express thanks in any/ every way we know in our hearts to be true. Let unity along with each soul's special essence shine and hold through today and forever more.

Thank you to everyone in my life, those no longer in my life, those yet to come in my life.. I am grateful for all of it, all that you gave and allowed me to give.
I am able to be myself truly through all of you.. this is my greatest thanks and eternal remembrance of you all. My heart lies in each and everyone of you. My spirit is entrusted in the best of all homes.. all of you... my heart. I Love You All.

-- Ramon.

Four Corners of the Earth: Tundra

2010-11-22T23:11:00.009-05:00

"Four Corners of the Earth: Tundra"
oil landscape on canvas, by Ramon Trif
* to be displayed at Heaven No More
(quote taken from The Gilde, newspaper):
".. I just couldn't wait in accordance to my manager's advice.. the people must see this! The Colossus is making fast track across the far ends of our planet! This beast from the gods cannot be denied.. to do so is such ignorance and a true blasphemy.. this is a rare beauty of unspeakable proportion... "

(... according to Niles' rant, he is to release his pieces of the set entitled: "Colossus, the Four Corners" sooner than anticipated. He is getting massive press coverage and criticism from the art and science communities. Niles informed us that his latest rendering was portrayed from an e-mailed description from Alaska)